We go out on a business trip and at dinner, he tells us about how an old secretary is sending packages to his work and picking them up from his office, and he’s DYING to know what’s in them, but he never opens them. Nipple Clamps” because that’s all that would go through my head when he walked in the door. So for weeks, I can’t make eye contact with my boss, and at one point, I almost greeted him with a “Good Morning, Mr.
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Voila! It looks as though it was never opened! No one will touch this stuff! I sneak it into his office and put it on his desk with the rest of his mail. I carefully tape up the box and pack it neatly. I got mental images, playbacks – not pretty. Or maybe my boss is just seriously kinky and doesn’t have the foresight to send these types of packages TO HIS HOUSE. Halloween is coming up soon, maybe this is for a crazy party. Tons of totally rational and then totally fucked up explanations are going through my head.
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I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TAPE UP A PACKAGE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE IT WAS NEVER OPENED.” I hop onto my computer and pull up messenger and message my boyfriend. I throw everything back into the box as if *I’M* the one who has just committed some horrible sin against nature. “Dog collar with attached nipple clamps.”ĭogs don’t need nipple clamps, so what the shit. What’s with the metal things? This is kind of weird, I think, so let’s pull out the invoice: I pull out some packing materials, then an item wrapped in plastic wrap.
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I open it as part of the standard office procedure. So I’m doing my mail duties when an odd looking package arrives for my boss, the CEO of the company. It was a pretty boring job for the most part, but every now and then there would be a wave of excitement when my boss’s crazy ex-wife would come in and scream at him in front of all of his employees. I worked as an office manager once, and it was my job to open and sort all of the mail, including packages.